Saturday, May 11, 2013

A Swim Lesson and a Wedding

Well, it’s that time of the year again.
Swim lessons are in full swing and it’s wonderful!
My phone keeps ringing,
I am hopping in and out of pools,
and my kids continue to say ridiculous things.
Pure bliss.

Yesterday I right before I started a lesson with one of my regulars,
I went up to the dad to touch base with him.
He was putting sunscreen on his daughter.
I went up to him and asked,
“Before I forget, next Saturday I have a wedding to go to, can we move the lesson to Friday night?”
He said that wasn’t a problem
and our swim lesson began.

It went very well; the little girl is really improving.
The lesson ended and after stickers were given out I walked her and her dad to the gate to let them out.
I opened the gate and the little girl stopped, looked up at me and asked,
“Who are you marrying?”
I had not the slightest idea of what she was making reference to.
I just looked at her and said, “I have NO idea.”
She looked at me confused and said,
“How can you not know who you are marrying? Do you just show up? And marry whoever is there?”
Only then did it dawn on me that she was making reference to the wedding that I will be attending.
I laughed and told her that I was going to a wedding and that I was definitely not getting married next Saturday.
She laughed,
skipped away,
and asked, “But who are you getting married to?”
No idea kid, no idea.
Thanks for lighting up my life though!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Session 2

Week 2.
Last week was very eventful.
All the schools finally let out.
The previous week I had two kids in each class.
Last week every instructor had at least 6 kids for all 3 sessions.
It was quite insane last week but more kids means more funny stories!

I had a boy belch in my face.
Now, this is not abnormal, especially at 9am after they have all just eaten
but this belch was comical and cartoonish.
If my hair had not been wet or in a pony tail it would have flown straight back as a result of this belch.
Had the child needed to vomit, it would have been projected very fast and very far.
He however, was not phased in the least bit.
*coughcoughBELCHhehecoughcough*
Then he just kept swimming.
It was a special and intimate moment shared....

One of the girls in my higher levels asked if she could get out to fix her swimsuit.
Instead of having her get out and find her mom I told her I would fix her suit.
I sat her on my knee and fixed it for her.
When I was finished I was going to give the next instructions but before I could open my mouth, one of the boys exclaims, "well that was just a complete waste of time. We lost swimming time. That was pointless. Could we get back to swimming now? Gosh.."
It took me all of 10 seconds to fix her suit....

My level 2 class was an interesting one.
I had 3 older boys and 2 little kids.
The oldest boy was really trying to learn how to swim on his own, even though it was a bit embarrassing to be his age and not be able to swim.
Finally after holding him all week when he swam, I asked him if he wanted to try on his own. His response, (quietly) "by myself. But is it okay if I make some mistakes?"
"Of course dude! Go for it! Make some mistakes!"

The youngest boy in my level 2 class came up to me one day before class started and asked, "Are you my teacher?"
"Yeah, what's up buddy?"
*wave*
*gives me a giant hug around my knees*
*runs away*
ADORABLE.

My level 1 class last week.
Oh. Dear.
Level 1 is a challenge to begin with, however, to add to the challenge, I had a full class at 6 kids.
2 of the girls I had last week. They were the only kids in the class the previous week so they had much more freedom. Last week they were confused as to why they had to sit on the steps.
1 of the boys was just adorable and eager to please. Whenever I asked him to do something his response, "Well, I would love to!"
1 boy spoke no English at all so his mom was there to translate....some of the time..
The last 2 were brother and sister who goofed off the whole class with each other but would not speak a word to me.
It was quite the challenge.
The crack up in this class was on day 5, the last day, I asked the most advanced boy if he would like to try and swim on his own. He shook his head yes and took off swimming. I was completely shocked and asked him if he knew that he could swim. Again, he nodded his head yes. When I asked him why he did not tell me that before he just swam away...

The joys of my job. :D

Monday, June 11, 2012

Jocelyn.

Jocelyn was adorable.
Blonde hair in pigtails.
Piercing blue eyes.
She weighed all of 21 lbs.
Regardless of whether the sun was out or not,
she was in the water trembling with lips icey blue.
"All done?!" was her most used phrase.
Her face would light up when she thought class was over
and she would start fake crying when she found out it wasn't over.
However, after just a couple of days, she learned to love swim class and
loved her friends.
Jocelyn's absolute favorite part of class was "Ring Around the Rosey" time
Despite the fact that the song is about the Black Plague and death,
it is one of a swim instructors best weapons.
The kids love holding hands,
spinning around,
singing,
and dunking themselves under water.
Jocelyn mumbled most of the song until the end; she knew the ending line.
"Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!"
Even when she was yelling with all her might,
Jocelyn still spoke softly.
And she had a bit of a lisp.
Jocelyn did not say ashes.
She didn't even say asses, which often is the most common slip.
No,
ever so sweetly Jocelyn said,
"Ah, shhhit, ah, shhhhit, we all fall down."
Really it was the most adorable thing.
Her poor mother though had to endure the embarrassment outside of swim class.
Jocelyn loved the song so much she sang it everywhere she went- in her own special way. :)

Friday, June 1, 2012

Faye.

Of all the swim stories that I bring home to my family, Faye might just have to be my favorite.
I was scheduled to teach a Level 1 night swim class in Texas.
I think I had somewhere around 5 kids, which is a handful for Level 1.
Also, to add to the mix I had two cousins taking the class who were from Poland.
That changed the dynamics because their parents spoke almost no English and the kids were so-so with it.
The cousins were Faye and Thomas.
Thomas was very sweet and timid around the water.
Faye.
Faye on the other hand was a firecracker like no other.
The minute Faye hit the water, another swim instructor jumped right into the pool to help me teach this special bunch.
Ultimately, one of us watched Faye and the other one of us took care of the other 4 or so kids.

Ah, Faye, she was very over-confident and loved the water
but she didn't know how to swim. Not in the least bit.
Because she did not really speak English it was impossible to get her to kick her legs or move her arms in an attempt to swim.
I literally had to just put my hands around her waist and she would spin in 360s parallel to the water.
The.
Whole.
Entire.
Class.
Sometimes I would get frustrated and I would let her go in an attempt to show her the water can be scary or dangerous.
Boy, the one bit me in the butt.
After she would half-drown, Faye would come up out of the water smiling and laughing.
She apparently loved being underwater and loved water in her mouth and up her nose.
One day she stopped her 360s to tell me something.
I told her I couldn't hear her.
She yelled.
Then I realized she was speaking Polish.
I asked her to please speak in English.
She thought I couldn't hear her.
So she hung onto me,
grabbed my ear,
literally yanked it half off,
and SCREAMED whatever she was saying in Polish.
I handed her off to the other instructor to see if she might have better luck.
No such thing.
Faye then decides she wants to get out of the pool.
The parents pay no attention and offer no help.
We get Faye back in the pool
and begin the ear-yanking, Polish-screaming routine.
FINALLY Faye's mom or aunt comes over and takes Faye out of the pool and walks her to the bathroom.
Oh.
We realize she had to go to the bathroom
but unfortunately, learning to say bathroom in Polish was not a part of our training.
We laughed and enjoyed the 2 minutes of peace, quite, and solitude.
Little Faye comes back into the water.
She is happy again.
She hops right over to me,
grabs onto me,
looks me in the eye,
huge smile on her face,
and says,
"I go potty!!"

....Potty?!
I guess she decided to save the use of that word.
For a few weeks from the point I made SURE to remember how to say bathroom in Polish.

Welcome!!

HELLO!!

My name is Rebecca and I am a swim teacher/coach in Southern California.
This is my third year teaching.
I love my job a huge amount.
It so rewarding and so humbling.
I love the satisfaction and the challenge of trying to teach kids to swim.
Another reason I love my job so much is because the kids are ridiculously funny.
Kids have no filter and no concept of what is appropriate to say and what might be better kept to themselves.
These hilarious children gave me and idea.
The idea is to start a second blog broadcasting to the world the Things My Swim Kids Say!
[My first blog is a religious blog. If you are interested in that here is the link.]
I hope you enjoy this blog and find these children as amusing as I do!
Thanks for reading,
Rebecca